Instinct
by EmmettFansxo
Summary: Around 2 years after Brendan is imprisoned, Steven goes on an impulsive holiday to escape his troubles in the village, Subconsciously he finds himself on a plane to Dublin and getting closer to his memories of Brendan. Little does he know Brendan has been released on grounds of behaviour and has been living in Dublin to give Ste a fresh start.
1. Chapter 1

Stendan Fiction.

Around 2 years after Brendan is imprisoned, Steven goes on an impulsive holiday to escape his troubles in the village, Subconsciously he finds himself on a plane to Dublin and getting closer to his memories of Brendan. Little does he know Brendan has been released on grounds of behaviour and has been living in Dublin to give Ste a fresh start. Mainly told from Ste's point of view, Some Brendan too.

Cheryl Is with Nate with a child in Belfast, She moved away from Dublin as it had too many memories of what she had done, She doesn't know about Brendan's release, She speaks to Ste occasionally but not as often as she would like as it is too painful for Ste.  
-

_2 years ago_

_"Brendan, I love you, please answer the phone, Ive tried 7 times today, I.. I love you."_  
_Ste hung up the phone in disappointment, he knew Brendan wouldn't answer, but he just couldn't help himself, It had been two days since Brendan had been taken away from him, he still had the bruise from being pushed away from him, into the wall and falling into the ground. _  
_"I'll never feel feel any differently about you I promise" The words echoed around his mind, Ste started to recall that day._  
_"You changed everything Steven, everything!" The memory was painful, Ste shuddered in his flat, and gulped down the whiskey numbing his senses._

_The weeks started to roll into one, Ste was working on autopilot, go to the deli, make a mess, get shouted at by Doug, go home, drown his sorrows and pass out on the sofa. A painful reminder there wasn't anyone to go to bed with, and he had no kids to put in the empty bedroom down the hall, he was alone_.

_1 year ago_

_"STE" Doug yelled at him, "The oven is smoking, Get the bread out already"._  
_Ste shook himself out of his drink induced daze and got to work fetching the fire extinguisher just incase there was real need, but it was just a burn loaf. This was becoming the norm lately._  
_"If you cant concentrate, go home. I don't want you here, your a danger to me, a danger to yourself and a danger to this business, Ill come and see you later" The words drowned into Ste's consciousness and he dragged his feet the short walk home, Grumbling about friendship as he went._

_At 7:00 the door went, Steven padded to the door in his pyjamas, and low and behold at 7:00 on the dot as promised the american stood there, he was anal about time keeping as Ste had recently found out. _  
_"Hiya" said Ste reluctantly expecting a slanging match, but instead the american just walked past him to the couch and sat down. Ste slumped down into the seat next to him._  
_Doug turned to face him, "Ste you can't keep living like this, He's gone, And he isn't coming back, the letters have been returned unopened, the phone calls are being rejected, you need to move on with your life, Your freezing cold, Your clothes are a mess, Let me help you?"_  
_As the tears rolled silently down his face Ste gave Doug a small nod "Okay, This will be the last time I ever sit and cry over his moustache face, The last time I utter his name, Brendan is out of my life, Where do I start?"_

_"First things first, Lets get you a warm shower, You'll freeze to death." Doug stood up and offered his hand to Steven, He pulled him to the bathroom and started undressing him, Steven felt Doug's skin against his own, And they helped each other to the point of oblivion._

The alarm went at 6:00 on the dot, Ste gave a yawn and rolled over to turn it off. "Hey sleepy head" Ste breathed to Doug mid yawn, Jumped out of bed and wandered down to the bathroom. Halfway through brushing his teeth he glanced at the shower and smiled to himself, This is where it started, This is when my life became better, And I owe it to that man in there, The thoughts went through his head before he could help himself and he vowed to stop thinking about that section of his life, where the other man had held him, where he and that other man had been in that shower 3 years previous, where that other man had made his life better than Doug ever could because of the feelings he could bring out..

"STE" Yelled Doug interrupting his train of thought, "Your going to be late for the dough to be delivered." Ste splashed himself with cold water and the thought of that man resigned itself to the drawer in the back of his head, the one that was safely under lock and key. Or so he thought it was.

Ste wandered to the deli absently kicking at the stones in his way, old habits die hard and all. Ste stopped suddenly and found himself gazing up at that flat, where that man used to live. He gave his head a shake, wondered what the hell was happening because he was supposed to be at the deli, and put it down to tiredness, 6am was a hellish time to be up roaming the streets of chester, The dark weather and no street lights didn't help. Just as he turned away, He saw a figure staring back at him from the metal grates across the balcony. Ste started to stutter "B..Bb.. No, I will never say that name again." He looked up once more and the figure was gone, merely a figure of his imagination. "Jesus christ, I need an early night tonight, Preferably with Doug" Ste muttered to himself, He let his imagination take over and found himself wishing it was 5pm and closing time so him and Doug could go home, to that shower, where it all started.

5pm came, Ste and Doug packed up the deli, Sorted out the schedule for tomorrow and locked the door, Ste took Doug's hand because he liked to have the authority these days, and walked him back the flat. "Ste, slow down, whats the rush?!" laughed Doug, Ste stopped and shivered remembering the way He used to laugh, Like a mad man. Ste knew there was only one thing that could distract him, so he whispered to Doug "I want you, In the shower, Now." He looked across to Doug who positively started running home, "Ill hold you to that."

Ste pushed into him as Doug groaned out "Steven.. Ah" Ste stopped as he felt a finger probing inside him, All memories flooding back of when that man had been holding him, pushing into him, Calling him Steven. His head went dizzy, Mind went black, A sheen of sweat over his face and neck. He finally allowed himself to feel the searing pain, The feelings he had pushed out for two whole years, It was only ever going to be That man for him. "I cant do this anymore Doug, Im so sorry." Doug stared up at him, A vein standing out in anger. "What do you mean you cant do this anymore, Are you tired, Not in the mood anymore?" Doug almost sounded insulted, as he stood up and pulled his pants on. "Im going for a shower Ste, DONT follow me unless you want me in there." Ste quickly stood up, pulled his trousers back around his legs and as he heard the fall of the shower water he found a piece of paper.

Doug,

Ive been having moments of doubt about what I need for the past couple days and its making me weak, Im going away to clear my head, I promise I will be back in a week, Carry on with the deli and living here, I shall text to let you know I'm alright, I am sorry, Be safe.

Ste.

With that Steven ruffled through his wardrobe and found an oversized black hoodie, He slipped it over his head and took in the smell, the one he had been denying himself from remembering for so long and his hands trembled when he found the money he had been given by that man underneath it, £50,000. Ste took £10,000 and placed it into a duffel bag, he grabbed a few items of clothing, his phone, wallet and a picture of the kids and was gone.

Ste walked slowly towards the door before placing the note next to the kettle, Ste knew this was where Doug would check first. With the sound of the shower in the background he walked out the door, said a silent goodbye and switched his mobile off. Ste walked towards the village when a vacant taxi rolled by, He stuck out his hand and was glad when it stopped so he could shelter out of the pouring rain.  
"Where too mate?" The taxi driver asked.  
"Manchester Airport" Ste said.  
"Thats quite a whiles drive" Murmured the taxi bloke, Ste shifted in his seat.  
"S'allright, Ill make it worth your while" Sighed Ste. He didn't know where he was heading, but he was following his gut, something he should of done from the start.

Ste stood in-front of terminal one, easy jet. "Excuse me mate, what flights are going out soon?" Ste spoke to the air steward with nerves, The steward checked his watch as he stifled a yawn, "Mate its 12:47 at night, The next flight out will be on those screens over there." The steward pointed to some boards with moving writing on. "Cheers." Mumbled Ste, He trudged over to the boards to check out where he was heading.

Due to extreme weather storms, flights over Australia, America and Africa have been cancelled. Scheduled Flights as follows:

DUBLIN - DEPARTING 5:47 am ARRIVAL 8:00 AM

Ste laughed to himself, this was so ironic. He walked up to the desk and booked a return ticket to dublin, He had his bag weighed, scanned and was checked into the departures lounge. For old times sakes he ordered himself a whiskey on the rocks and let his mind wander back to old memories before he took off to find what he was looking for.


	2. Chapter 2

This whole writing is more difficult than I first thought, is it possible to have writers block on the second chapter? If anyone actually reads it Let me know your thoughts! :)

CHAPTER TWO:

Ste woke up and in a panic forgot where he was, he took in his surroundings and noticed he was on a plane, he checked his watch, 7:54 in the morning. "Ladies and gentleman, if you could please fasten your seat belt we are approaching the landing, Thank you." The voice that came over the intercom suddenly sparked his memory of what happened, and he realised where he was heading. Dublin. The plane landed suddenly which sent a pulse of shock through his nervous system, as he collected his hand luggage and stepped off of the plane onto irish soil the momentous decision that seemed so clever a few hours ago was suddenly turning his stomach. Every accent sounded like his used to. As he passed through the arrivals department there were irish catholic crosses and men drinking Guinness, it was beginning to feel like his worst nightmare.

Ste took his mobile phone out of his pocket, and tried to turn it on. He had promised Doug after all, but all it done was flash a battery icon and a little motion of plugging the charger in. Bollocks ste thought, he had been in such a rush he had forgotten the charger, Ah well he thought, iPhone chargers are everywhere these days. He rattled around in his pockets for some loose change, just enough to use the pay phone to call a cab, he stepped outside, saw the grey clouds of Dublin and had a gut instinct. Although he wasn't quite sure what that instinct was, he got the cab driver to drop him off in Dublin high street. "First things first, Find a hotel, get changed, find a phone charger." Ste muttered to himself, and set off to find a hotel.

Before he knew it, he knew where he was, on the outskirts of town he wandered into a familiar hotel and found a nun sitting at reception, one look was too much, it brought the painful memories flooding back like a hole in his chest so he ran, ran so hard he felt his heart beating into his mouth, and sick stirring in his stomach. He could see the pedestrians looking at him, wondering if they should stop him, ask if he was okay, Ste liked the anonymity that Dublin brought, no one knew him, they didn't know his backstory, he could be free for a while. He reached another hotel, a mile down the street or so, smack bang in the city centre. ste checked himself into the deluxe suite, never having had the chance to stay anywhere as posh on his own before, He wandered about the place, checked out the mini bar, the incredible bath in the wash room, and the marble floors in the steam room, For now he quickly changed his clothes and headed out into town, Slipping his hotel key card into his pocket. He would savour the spa later before falling into bed. He set his sights on finding the local shops and started to seek out a phone charger. Occasionally he felt like he was being watched, he put it down to being in a somewhat new town and carried on walking.

After Twenty minutes or so he came face to face with the town centre, the only thing in its path was a bridge. The ha'penny bridge, Ste's stomach coiled in pain as he realised he had to go over the bridge to get to the shops. The words were echoing around his mind before he could help it, of another painful time, a time where he was alone before, "what did you think we were going to do, hold hands and skip over the Liffey bridge together?" The accent was so pronounced it was like he was stood next to me. Thats his heart stopped, because he could see clear as day the padlocks, another memory hit him like a brick "There called love locks, if ye love somebody you write both the names on the padlock, and throw the key in the river, you weren't thinking of doing one, were ye?." Ste summoned the courage to step on the bridge. He stood right in the middle under the first arch, the one where he had been reunited with that man, where he felt cherished and loved, and most of all, happy. He remembered the way he had summoned him over, put his hands on his face and pulled him closer. He remembered how much feeling, angst and regret was in that kiss, a sorry from one man to another, and now, all he could think about was how much he missed it, yet again he pushed it back to the furthest corner of his mind and continued across the bridge, permanently ignoring the padlock he thought he saw, the one with "Steve & Brendan" wrote upon it. With a sigh he reached the shops, and smiled with the smallest amount of satisfaction as he managed to do it, he was almost proud of that.

Ste saw the pub, the lamb and lion and decided to go for a drink, clear his head and loosen up after the complicated 24 hours he had encountered, four whiskeys later and a half glass of Guinness later and he found himself being drawn back to the bridge. Ste convinced himself that it was because he had to walk back to his hotel that way. As he walked back to the bridge his eyes tried to find the padlock. Even after all of this time he knew exactly where the padlock was located, third steel knob down the bridge on the left hand side. Ste ran his fingers down and counted the padlocks, First knob "Elissa and Evan" written down, Second knob "John Paul and Craig", Ste almost laughed at this one, Coincidence that it was next to his.

He ran his fingers down the rails until he bumped into someone palming the third one staring out down at the river, their hand now resting under ste's, "Sorry mate." muttered ste before he started to wander away. Before he knew it the hand had grabbed him so tight it began to hurt, Ste turned around, looked up into the face of the person holding onto him and with that he fainted. 4 minutes later Ste felt himself waking up, lead on a cold hard floor with a warm hand under his head, Ste gazed up at the man crouched in front of him with a worried expression on his face and he closed his eyes, tried to make himself understand. When he opened his eyes Ste could see him, touch him. Ste reached up and stroked his face. "Its you.." He could almost smell the mix of fear and adrenaline. The man uttered the words "Steven.." He knew he had to get away, He sprang up and ran down the stairs of the bridge, when he heard a drop he didn't even look back, It wasn't until he got to the hotel he saw his keycard was missing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to the few who've actually read this! Its just a distraction for me to escape and write. Anyhow, this will make sense at the end of the chapter. The songs are "Part of me- Katy perry, and Perfect Stranger by Katy B. I suggest you listen whilst you read, I did;) More coming very soon, I promise. EmmettFans xo**

CHAPTER THREE:

Ste had gotten back to his hotel in record time, and it was showing. Dripping with sweat yet still ice cold from his recent confrontation with.. Him. He headed up to his room and found his key card was missing, "Bollocks" sighed Ste, and he headed downstairs for a new card.

Ste walked up-to reception and saw the redhead reading her magazine, "Excuse me love, I've lost me key card."  
The receptionist turned around, "Whats ya room number Darlin?"  
"Its the presidential suite" Ste felt awkward about saying this aloud, he was no one special, why was he so stupid to hire the presidential suite?.  
"There ya go Darlin, names Laura if you need anything else, have a nice evening.." with a wink the newly named Laura gave him a new card and went back to reading her magazine.

Ste walked up all seven flights of stairs hoping it would exhaust him and take his mind over what he thought he had just witnessed on the bridge. All it had done had make his legs ache, and his body more sweaty.

As he unlocked his room, he thought about the spa in the corner and thats when he knew what he needed. Ste leaned over and switched the radio on in the corner, Gaydio fm started to blare out and Ste started to relax and push the recent confrontation out of his mind. Katy perry came on and Ste started singing along.. "_Days like this I want to drive away, Pack my bags and watch your shadow fade._." That reminded him, he grabbed the newly acquired phone charger and plugged it in to the wall and then his phone so that he could let Doug know that he was ok, it was the least he could do.

He started to get changed and carried on singing " _'Cause you chewed me up and spit me out, Like I was poison in your mouth, You took my light, you drained me down, But that was then and this is now, now look at me.._" Ste couldn't help but think how ironic these lyrics were, when that man who had dragged him down was stood but a mere few centimetres in front of him, he pulled his t-shirt over his head and walked towards the bed. Unpacking his bags and finding the photos of Doug and the kids, he propped them up on the side before grabbing his phone and punching in a quick text to doug.

**Doug, Hey, im so soz i werent in contact yesturday, i dint mean to not txt but me phone dyed and i woz stupid enough to forget me chargur, im safe and i hope your ok. Ill b in contakt soon enuf. luv Ste.**

Damn dyslexia Ste thought to himself as the song changed on the radio Ste brought it with him, he walked over to the wet room containing a steam room, rainfall shower and a Jacuzzi and popped the radio behind the rainfall shower. He heard a noise and froze, turned around but there was nobody there, "Strange that is" he murmured, "Grow up Ste.. New place your bound to hear new noises.." Ste started to hum along as he turned the radio up and the shower on and started to sing, "_I didn't have to turn around, I can feel him in back of my brain.." He_ lathered the soap up with the complementary raspberry soap and continued singing "_When I step into the crowd, Something told me that I'd meet you today.._" Rubbing the sponge over his arms came the next lyrics "_Your energy when you touch me, Lifted me off the ground, Your words to me are like music.._" Ste was getting into this, he always loved a sing song in the shower, and this shower was divine.

As the water hit the temple of this head and he rubbed his hair and his eyes he continued with the lyrics " _Are you from another world, I never seen someone who looks like you, Beautiful stranger how do you do, Tell me is there something I can do for you?_" He rubbed the sponge down his body, Catching slightly over the bruise on his shoulder where he fell earlier, it stung slightly, Ste winced then tried to relax as he let the water fall over him "_All I really know is, theres something in your heart.."_

He thought back to when earlier that man had uttered his name. The way it had rolled off of his tongue. He heard the door of the shower click, and turned around.

"Is that so Steven?" Growled Brendan.


	4. Chapter 4

To the lovely people leaving reviews, I genuinely really appreciate it being my first fic. I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter, yet it was hard to write. I hope you enjoy it :) Much love as always, EmmettFans xo

CHAPTER FOUR:

Ste clung to the shower wall in hopeless effort as the water continued to fall down on him, what once felt relaxing it now felt like it was pelting down on him giving him halucinations. With his back against the wall he sunk to his knee's and felt the air draining out of him.

"Steven.. I.. Your key card.." whispered Brendan. Ste found the courage to gaze upwards at the man he had blocked from his thoughts with his best efforts for a whole two years. That man was here, infront of Ste in the flesh. Now the tears had started they wouldnt stop, and he was shivering despite being under the full force of the water, Brendan could see the goose pimples rising on his skin.

Without taking his eyes off of Ste, Brendan slipped his shoes off and gave his socks a quick tug throwing them to the side where they landed with a clatter. He removed the silver watch and placed it onto the edge of the shelf and withdrew his blazer with it landing on the floor, a pool of black material. Ste thought to himself he must be dreaming as he never risked damage to his expensive suits. A crisp white shirt was now having the sleeves rolled promptly up, the leather belt from around his waist being removed. Landing atop of the jacket. A flurry of butterflies forming in his stomach brendan gasped as he saw ste smacking his head against the glass wall, knowing with searing guilt that this was all his fault so with that, Brendan climbed into the shower closing the glass door behind him, and drowning out the radio.

Shaking his head as the water fell from his hair into his eyes, Brendan fell to the tiles in front of Ste. He gripped his head and pulled it into his shoulder, taking in the smell of this boy, his steven. The smell was even better than he remembered. He avoided looking down, trying to show respect for this man, steven covered his modesty with his hands and frankly suprised Brendan with his next move.

"NO, Get your hands off of me!" Ste yelled and bit into his shoulder, scratched Brendan for all he was worth. Blood started to seep out of a cut onto his forearm and he swore.  
"Fuck, Steven.." Gasped Brendan.  
"No I'm not steven anymore.." Snarled Ste, "Its Ste, although to you its nothing, you left me. I rang everyday for seven months, visiting orders rejected, letters returned unread, I lost everything.." Ste broke down in sobs and looked Brendan straight into the darkest corners of his seemingly blue eyes.. "You were my everything." Wrapping his arms around his knees he slammed his head against the glass.

Brendan knelt down, tears pooling in his own eyes as he reached for Ste's cheek.  
"I thought about you everyday, every single rosary bead that passed through my hand was in thought of you, when I went to councilling every single conversation was about you, my emergency contact was you.." He paused for breath as the sobs from Ste continued. Smoothing his fingers over the brusing on Ste's shoulder where he fell earlier he picked up again. "When I was released I came straight home to chester, I watched you for a day before deciding to tell you I was out of prison, you had moved on with that doug guy.. You didn't need me anymore, so I left once again to give you the happy ever after that you deserved..." He took a shaky breath and whispered "The happy ever after we were supposed to have." With that he fell back against the tiles and let his heart over come him, The two men slumped under the collision of water and tears.

After a few minutes, and the shock starting to subside Ste glanced over at Brendan and noticed the blood spreading onto the white shirt, The water tight material only encouraging the bleeding. He knelt up and crawled towards Brendan meerly touching a hand onto his knee, as light as a feather.  
"Brendan, we need to stop this injury.. I.." Ste sighed at him.  
Brendan reached out to cup Ste's face and breathed between sobs "I just poured my heart out to you, and your worried about some blood on a shirt? Leave it.."

Ste clambered up unsteadlly offering out his hand and Brendan followed suit, Getting a shock when his hand was in Ste's, pulling them down to the end of the shower where there was hardly any water. A small electric current that made him jump. Ste was overcome by the man standing in front of him, he had been willing to do anything to see this sight again, now he was standing within reach. Slowly taking him in from head to toe, after a two year absence he found that his brown hair was turnt black from the sheer volume of water in it, His eyes a frosty shade of the blue they used to be, tear stains down his cheeks that could of been water if his eyes werent so puffy. A broader frame than he remembered followed, Shoulders and biceps straining at the tight now see through shirt, crinkles at the elbow highlighting impresive triceps, but more importantly the seeping blood. Brendan was quiet, not making a sound apart from the odd sob after calming his crying, watching Steven warily. Ste slowly pulled the shirts buttons apart with trembling fingers not helped by the soaking material and the slippery ridges.

Seven buttons later and the shirt fell apart exposing brendans chest, and the shiny silver crucifix rosary settled amongst the scattering of chest hair. Stepping closer he heard Brendan breathe in, this only defining his toned chest even more, It was breath taking. Reaching forward he stroked his hand down Brendan's chest and saw Brendan tilt his head back slightly at the touch. Running his hands over his abdominals Brendan leaned into the touch, and a small groan escaped his lips. Ste knew he had to stop this ever spreading bleed though so he ignored the groan, pretending it hadnt shot straight to his groin and started to peel off his shirt, left arm first. Once the clear arm was free of the saturated shirt, he peeled back the right arm, bracing himself for the blood but he didnt expect what was coming. His eyes set on the small wound, Brendan was right, nothing worth panicking over but then his eyes met the second mark on the arm.

A new tattoo. An ace of hearts. Ste ran his fingers over it.  
"Whats this?" Ste murmered, point blank starting up at brendan.  
"Its an ace of hearts steven, I, Yeah.." He stopped promptly.  
"Why did you get this done?" Ste started to sob again, tears rolling down his face.  
"Judging by your reaction, I'd say you already know.."  
"I need this, I need to know, Even after all this time.." It became too much for Ste, and he chocked out a loud gasp for oxygen. Turning around he clung to the inside shelf.  
"Steven, Steven breathe.." Rasped Brendan, Athough he wasnt sure what to do, Ste looked like he would collapse any minute from the coldness deep inside him.

Brendan stepped forwards, any decency gone to pot and pulled Ste into his arms, his shaking back covered in goose pimples resting against Brendan's own hairy chest, his arms engulfing him and supporting his frame. Leaning forwards into the body pressing against him he reached stevens ear and whispered "Shh..."

Ste cut him off, clinging on to the bare arms wrapped tightly around him. "Tell me why you have that tattoo.." He stammered and breathed "I NEED to know."  
Brendan leaned forward and layed his mouth behind Ste's ear planting a kiss there, resisting working down his neck though pure instinct was screaming at him too when Steven's shivering naked body was pressed into the front of him.  
"Remember when we were first together, we used to sit in on our own, I taught you how to play poker because you didn't know. It become our code name.." Brendan paused as Ste lifted his head up.  
"Ace. Our code name was ace.." Murmered Ste, coming to a sense of recognition.  
Holding him even tighter around his naked middle Brendan ran his hand down Ste's side, Ste's body betrayed him and rewarded brendan with a series of shivers pressing into brendan's hard exterior. With a failing amount of self control Brendan continuted.  
"You became my ace steven.." Feeling the drops of water on his arms that could now only be tears seeing as he was sheilding him from the water, Brendan took a deap breath and turned Ste to face him. Holding his gaze, he bent his head until they were barely inches apart. Wiping the tears falling from Ste's face away with his thumb, He breathed "And you will always have my heart. You became The ace of Hearts."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five:

Steven started into those piercing blue eyes, and heard the words "You became my ace of hearts" being whispered down at him.

"Are you saying you still love me?" he breathed.

"Everyday until I'm in my grave you'll be in my head, Im never gonna feel any differently about you Steven, I promised remember?"

Steven shuddered at the memory, feeling the goosepimples rising over Steven's skin once more, Brendan pulled him by the waist back under the flow of the water. Running his left hand down to sit on stevens hip, he grazed the back of his kneck with his teeth. It was only just dawning on steven that the man he loved was stood infront of him, confessing his undying love for him, and was naked.

"Do you want to tell me who that guy was in the village I saw you with before you do something you regret?" murmered Brendan against Ste's shoulder blade. He picked up Ste's left hand with his right, brought it to his lip and kissed it.

"I used to never shut you up, look who's talking now.. Steven?" Brendan lifted Ste's head by the chin to stare into his eyes, his hair floppy from the downpour of the water.

"I havent said your name in over two years, I was trying to convince myself I had moved on, but now you turn up here, and I cant deny you make me feel the same, Exactly the same feelings you did three years previous, and it scares me, but all i find myself doing is wanting you." Ste looks up with a hint of a sparkle in his eyes, the one Brendan had grown to know and love, the one he had pictured for two years, everynight before bed.

"You really havent said my name in over two years steven?" Brendan spluttered.

"No, I thought it would make it easier, but it hasnt stopped me wanting you any less.." Ste let his eyes wander downwards, hadnt seen this glorious mans body in almost three years, and dougs was nothing in comparison, he couldnt stop himself now he had started looking.

"Well steven, I think we can change that.. But for now, we're doing too much talking.." and with that Brendan gently manuvered Ste up against the glass taking care not too hurt his bruises from the fall earlier.

Taking his hands off of brendans hips he ran one up against his cheek bones and leaned his head forward. This was it, their first proper kiss in three years, the tension in the shower cabinet only grew as Brendan planted his mouth firmly against stevens.

Tugging at brendans hair, and squirming against the cool glass wall Ste let out a groan, a small one, yet just enough movement with his lips to let brendans tounge slide in. Darting his tounge against Ste's, Brendan deepend the kiss, sliding his hand around to the back of ste's neck, leisurely pushing harder, knowing that they had all of the night yet feeling a pool of desire in his stomach.  
Ste had lost all sense of control now, overwhelmed by the kiss, only making him ache for more of this man. He forgot how good he could make him feel, just from one kiss. Ste pressed his naked groin into Brendan's and rolled his hips slightly, smirking against his lips when Brendan let out a "Steven, aah" and pushed back against him twice as hard. The erections were clear for both men to feel.

Brendan knew he couldnt hold out any longer, two and a half years without seeing him, without any contact with another human and now steven was right there. "Steven, are you sure you wont regret this?"

Ste reached down and stroked the length of brendans cock, moaning as his hands tried to grasp the thickness of it, leaning his head onto brendans shoulder and begining to set a rythum.

"Im taking that as a no.." Brendan reached down and took Ste's legnth in his palm, matching the pace that his cock was already being rubbed at. With his free hand, Ste rubbed brendans chest, running his fingertips through the scattering of hair, trailing them down to squeeze his ass cheek as he bit brendans nipple, rewarded with a deep groan he felt a finger rubbing the very tip of his cock in circles with the glistening pre come already forming there.

"Steven, its been a while, I dont know how long I can keep this up.." he paused for a breath feeling his own precum start to emerge as he gazed at his boy when Ste decided to pump his cock faster.

"Show me you missed me.." Ste almost growled, looked at him straight in the eyes, a look of despair, yet still clouded with lust for this impossible man.

Brendan took that as his que, flipping Ste to face the glass and planting his hands there he comanded "Stay."

He lazily drew his hands down Ste's back, tracing all his vertebre, one by one. Taking both of his hips in his hands, he pushed his hard length against Ste's back just to show him what he was picturing, but for now that could wait. For now it was all about steven.

Parting Stevens arse cheeks, he felt the boy stiffen in anticipation. Blowing on his hole, Brendan saw it tighten, the ridges around it pucker, and relax when he reminded him to breathe. Edging forward, Brendan could smell the boy, Musky yet sweet as he remembered, making him hungry, he couldn't hold back and plunged his tounge inside the boy, he was so tight, Brendan thought to himself it must of been a while since he had been penetrated, or penetrated this deeply.

A whimpering Ste arched his back out, his hole relaxing, letting Brendan move in and out of it with ease now, trying to swallow in his whole tounge. "Steven, can you remember what we do next? We.." He reached his hand high above him, steven hissing at the sound of his name, and acting on pure instinct started sucking on his fingers. "Good boy Steven, Get them nice and wet.." As Ste started to take all of his fingers into his mouth he kept up with the encouragement "Going to need all the lubricant we can get so I can go nice and deep, You understand?" Ste mumered something unfathomable whilst pushing his ass further onto Brendan's tounge.

Pulling his fingers from Ste's mouth, moaning as the saliva formed a string between brendans fingers to Ste's lips he withdrew his tounge, and entered his index finger. Steven let out a groan, which went straight to Brendan's cock. Feeling his hole adjust to the digit already entered inside him, he whispered "Another.."

Brendan Point of view-

"Well well Steven, you always were a pushy bottom, How long has it been, since someone made you come apart at the seams?' I articulate into his ear, whilst adding another finger, reaching his for the spot he knew pulled at Ste's insides.

Adjusting my position, I stand up wrapping Myself around the boy, one arm around his waist, My cock rubbing Ste's ass cheek whilst the other continutes to finger Ste's hole deeply. The language coming out of Ste's mouth was atrocious. He always was filthy in the bedroom.

I pull Ste's head to the side to face me, and kiss him savagely, all control dissolving. Tangling my hand in Ste's hair I growls at him. "What do you want steven?"

Ste gasps at the dominance in my voice. "You"

I purr into his ear whilst flexing my digits against him, "Steven, You've already got two of my fingers inside you, Can't you feel that?"

A low groan came out of the boy at the feel of my fingers hitting his prostate. "Not.. Enough.. Need.. More."

"Tell me what you want Steven?"

I can feel the heat of the boy, see him blushing, but persistantly I ask again.

"Steven, Tell me?"

Letting out a sigh and loosing all inhibitions, he practically screeched at me. "Your cock, inside me." Turning his face to stare at me straight in the face he added "Now."

Winking back at him "Only too happy to oblige Steven.."

Lining my cock up at the enterance of his hole, The ridged edge of his hole contracting around my tip, I stop. Just as Im about to push in I curse myself and remember.

"Fuck, Steven?"

"Thats the idea, Fuck, Me."

"Do you have any condoms? I dont have any, or lube.." I sigh.

Whimpering and nearly on the edge he cries "Dont stop, Please dont stop."

I push in, loosing all sense of control but giving Ste chance to adjust to my cock being inside of him. I feel his ring of muscle contracting, Sensing a foregin object inside his body.  
My cock spasms, so close to the edge already. Two years without penetrating another body since last being inside this one, Its familiar but so much tighter.

Pressing my lips to the back of Stevens kneck i kiss him, and reassure him. "Are you ok?Does it hurt?"

"Dont stop, Keep going.." With a languished moan coming out of stevens mouth I edge all of my nine inches inside of him, building a steady pace, feeling as my head rubbed against his prostate, and the room began to spin

Reaching forward I took Steven's cock into my hand, and started to trace the veins on the underside, ran my finger across the tip, collected a layer of precum that had been forming for a while, lifiting my finger to my mouthy to taste the salty liquid Ste groaned at me when he saw what I was doing. He took my hand and guided my finger back to his tip.

I continued to thrust into him, lazily and uncoordinated as I rubbed his slit, down to his frenulum and mad ehim cry with pleasure. Whilst I begin to pump his cock he begs me, he looks up at me through those long eyelashes and breathes "I cant hold on much longer, I dont even know if I can make it to.."

I increase my speed, One arm around his waist backing him onto my cock, one fiercly pumping his own with a hand so tight it was beggining to ache.

Watching as the boys cheecks flushed red, Looking down I could see the pool of precum on his tip. The sweat mixed with the showers humid temperature and the edge of his orgasm began to make him lightheaded I whispered into his ear "Come for me Steven, You can do it, Let go for me.."

"Brendan, Ah, I cant, It feels, Fuck"

His puckered hole began to contract around my own cock, sending me nearer to the edge whilst cum spurted out of his tip onto the shower glass, over his stomach and onto my hand.

Just hearing his name finished the game for me, I pounded harder into him until I too came hard, Gripping his hips, Forcing my cum into his ass. Planting kisses down his back, Trailing my fingers up and down his ab muscles we came down together, until my legs stopped shaking.

Steering his delerious body him into my arms, I opened the shower door and wrapped him in a fluffy bath towel. Picking him up I carried him and placed him onto the bed, Laying next to him and smoothing his hair out of his eyes.

Steven began to come back to earth. "Brendan, That were incredible"

I smiled. Pressing my lips to his forehead I agreed. "Yes it was, Are you sore now?"

Ste blushed. "I havent been penetrated in two years.."

I register the shock. "But that guy I saw you with?"

Ste looked guilty "I was only ever the top, I couldnt bare someone taking your place in me.."

A single tear began to run down his face. I reach over and wipe it away, leaving a kiss in its place.

"Steven, what on earth is it?" I murmer at him, stroking his face.

"I never thought I'd see you again, let alone speak your name after a whole two years, but it was perfect."

Im confused now. "Then why are you crying?"

He sniffed, and rolled to lay looking at me. "Because how do I know you wont leave me again?"

I stare into his eyes thinking about how I can prove it to him. It dawns on me.

Reaching behind my head, I undo the chain hanging around my neck. I open his hand and place the cross into it, warm from being in the shower with us both.

"Brendan, This means everything to you..?"

I sigh. He still doesnt understand. "Yes steven, it is the only material possesion that means anything to me, But you mean everything to me. I want you to wear it. Call it an eternity cross."

He smiles as another tear rolls down his face, So emotional my boy.

"Steven, May I?"

He holds his hand out to me. Reaching for the cross I place it around his neck and do the fastening up. My heart swells with pride as I look at my steven, wearing my cross, a sign of eternity.

"Forever?" Steven lets out a tentive grin.

Taking the cross and pressing it to my mouth I repeat "Forever"

"Brendan, I.."

He's inturupted by the phone. I reach out and grab it.

Caller Id: Doug.

"Well for starters, we need to sort this douglas chappy out.." I growl. Wrapping my arms around steven, I know I will not let anything come between us, ever again. Not my past and certainly not this one time Douglas guy.

Steven sighed and looked uncomfortable.. "Brendan, about that.."

**Thanks for reading this, sorry its been a while since I updated, my last couple days at college this week! Please leave at review saying thoughts on what you think or even what you want to happen! I really appreciate them :) I love you all lots for even reading, It'd be nice If others would give it a go too! Lots of love, EmmettFansxo**

**ps. Sorry I've uploaded this twice, my ipad and its spelling mistakes! **


End file.
